Glad Dads | Fatherhood Advice, Tips, Stories, Gear and Book Reviews

Parents, What’s Your BHAG?

2011-12-12T13:37:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

Is one of your goals in life to become “a great parent?” I would assume that most people taking the time to read a blog on parenting and fatherhood strive for something like that. I am no exception. But I’ve got to be honest, there are days when I ask if I am cut out for this. There are days when I can’t take another meltdown, or when I can’t answer another question, or play another imaginary game of Disney princesses, or hear one more syllable of whining. Days when I truly wonder if I am cut out to be a “great parent.”

Recently I listened to the audio book, Built to Last by Jim Collins, a book about creating companies that are not only successful now, but also for generations to come. Collins’ book as well as the sequel Good to Great is phenomenal reads (or listens) for anyone with entrepreneurial curiosity.

Collins argues that the companies that want to be recognized for their current success in the present as well as their continued success in the future should have a BHAG. Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

The authors define a BHAG (pronounced BEE-hag) as a form of vision statement "...an audacious 10-to-30-year goal to progress towards an envisioned future."

A true BHAG is clear and compelling, serves as unifying focal point of effort, and acts as a clear catalyst for team spirit. It has a clear finish line, so the organization can know when it has achieved the goal; people like to shoot for finish lines.

—Collins and Porras, 1996

Microsoft’s BHAG way back when was to have a computer in every home in America

Twitter’s BHAG is to become the pulse of the planet

Youth Frontier’s BHAG (the non-profit I work for) is to change the way young people treat each other in every hallway, every lunchroom, every classroom, every playground, in every school in this country.

As I was listening to this book I couldn’t help but think about what my BHAG should be as a parent. Running a family in many ways is like running a business. In order to be successful at either, not only do you need to put in the time and effort, but you also have to have clear goals.

“Being a great parent” is not a BHAG. It’s certainly something to strive for but it’s totally vague. Just as every small business owner wants to be “successful”, every caring parent would like to think they are “great.” But it’s the BHAGS that are going to keep you accountable, tuned in, and most importantly…present.

BHAGS can be small like making sure you tell your kiddos that you love them at least once everyday, or a sitting down for a family meal at minimum 3 times per week.

BHAGS can be bigger. Maybe you want to send your child to a private school, and you will sacrifice something or pick up a second job in order to pay for the tuition.

I think if we took the time to sit down and start writing out some of the “big picture” objectives we hope to accomplish as a parent, it wouldn’t take us long to fill the page. But I would argue that without having goals, and focal points of effort with clear finish lines, we’re going to be a bit lost.

Yes I want to be a “great parent” but today I will strive for making sure all electronic devices are shut off when I’m playing princesses.

Yes I want to be a “great parent” but today my goal is to be patient and understanding when my 4-year old melts down and needs my attention during the middle of the football game.

Yes I want to be a “great parent” and in order to get there; I’m going start setting up my BHAGS.

So…what are some BHAGS for you?

We ReTweet Amber Alerts And You Should Too

2011-11-03T14:17:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

I was very disappointed the other night when four tweets about an Amber Alert in Seattle went unmentioned/retweeted by the @GladDads followers (1,430 by last count). A man (allegedly) killed his girlfriend and took off with two kids, including a 9mo and eventually turned himself in later that night. The children were safe.

But seriously… WTF?!

Two Questions

Q: Are our Twitter followers a bunch of uncaring assholes?
       A: Surely not! How dare you even think that! We like to think the best of our readers.

Q: What can we do to bring better attention to active Amber Alerts?
       A: Find a way to Auto-Retweet Amber Alert Information. Check.
       A: Write a blog post shaming followers into taking action the next time they notice an amber alert on their Social Media feeds. Check.

If you're on Twitter and have more than a dozen followers, chances are that one of those followers will know someone in the area. Just because you don't know anyone in the area personally is a poor excuse for not forwarding on an Amber Alert.

This concludes the rant portion of this post. Read on to learn what steps you can take to get the word out about Amber Alerts.

Auto-Retweet Amber Alerts: You Can Do It Too

Using instructions I found for creating a Twitter Retweet Bot and the twitter feed of @Amber_Alert I created a Yahoo! Pipe and automated publish to @GladDads via TwitterFeed.com. You don't have to publish to Twitter though, TwitterFeed lets you publish to Facebook as well.

If you want to use our Yahoo! Pipe's RSS feed, here it is.

You may have noticed a few of the tweets already coming through.

Twitter Dashboards: Add An #AmberAlert Column

If you're already using HootSuite, MetroTwit, or TweetDeck you can easily set up a column to look for hashtags like #AmberAlert. This way, when something pops up you can easily retweet or mention it.

If you have a smart phone your twitter app may have similar functionality.

See It = Share It

If you see an amber alert on any social networking platform you happen to frequent, just share it with your users. Where's the harm in that? Worst case scenario your users will think of you as a caring individual and best case scenario, you can help bring victimized kids home safely.

You don't know where your followers are or what they are doing. For all you know they could be staring at the suspect vehicle right that moment while sitting at a coffee shop.

Please don't be the weak link. Spread the word and help save kids.

If you have more ideas on how to spread the word about Amber Alerts please comment!

Who Is Preventing Traumatic Brain Injury In High School Football? Nobody

2011-10-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

It was sad to read about the death of a New York high school student during a varsity football game this past weekend. It didn't help when I started to research the subject of Traumatic Brain Injury in High School. I came across some surprising facts.

High School TBI By The Numbers

According to this article in the Clinical Journal of Sports Medicine nearly 30% of High School Football players interviewed reported having a history of concussion, only 47% of those were reported to trainers. Look at that number again… that's less than half. The three main reasons that athletes gave for not reporting their injury was that the player didn't think the injury was serious, they didn't want to be withheld from competition, or they weren't aware that they had suffered a concussion until later.

In addition to the under reporting problem is the fact that TBI is nearly five times as likely to occur in competition than training according to this article from the Journal of Athletic Training.

What Is Being Done About It

The Protecting Student Athletes from Concussions Act (H.R. 469) currently making its way through the U.S. House of Representatives aims to confront these problems by "making sure school districts have concussion management plans that educate students, parents and school personnel about how to recognize and respond to concussions."

According to the legislation, they will accomplish this by providing student athletes with information about how to prevent and manage concussions, inform and empower student athletes, parents and school personnel about concussions by requiring schools to provide relevant information, and finally to support students' health and recovery by implementing policies like "when in doubt, sit it out."

So… They're Doing Almost Nothing

This bill does nothing to prevent Traumatic Brain Injuries for student athletes. Basically they're just going to hold an assembly, put up some posters with a snappy catch phrase and attempt to take care of students after they have already suffered a TBI.

There's something about being on a field of play that makes athletes forget they are made of flesh and bone. These are kids who are staying relatively safe during practice, but then pummel each other during games to the point where they suffer serious injuries and even die.

Prevention On The Field

Clearly there is a weakness in the way the rules are set up for this age group. Granted, you can't take away a million dollars for a High School line backer that's throwing his weight around too aggressively, but injuring someone should have consequences. Sitting out a game or two does not seem unreasonable to me and I suspect that it would make someone think twice before delivering a devastating blow to his opponent.

The bottom line is that there is a family in New York waking up every morning for the rest of their lives without their son, and someone else's son is waking up knowing that he was on the other side of that hit.

It's time to re-evaluate the rules of High School Football and at least attempt to keep these kids safe. High school is hard enough without having to worry about dying during a game.

How Potty Training Boot Camp Went Horribly Wrong

2011-10-02T02:19:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

Yes, I admit it. I fell for the promises of one of those "Potty Train Your Child in Less Than a Week" programs. I paid for the eBook and after reading it I was convinced that we had made the right choice. "This person knows what they're talking about" I thought.

At this point you should know that I never get caught flat-footed by telemarketers, infomercials or fast talking sales people. I know what things are worth and I can smell trouble a mile away.

This time my purchasing sense abandoned me. "Well if it works, that would be awesome. If it doesn't, we're out (an embarrassingly large amount of) bucks." I was optimistic as only a consumer of a newly discovered widget could be.

As it turns out I should have toned down my enthusiasm... a lot.

U-Day (Underwear)

Things were going ok, the twins threw away their own diapers (into a clean bag because we wanted to donate it to the daycare) and were quite happy to be wearing underwear. We praised them "Look at our big girls in their new underwear!" we said repeatedly.

We also kept reminding them to tell us if they felt like they had to go potty... over and over again we told them this as per the eBook.

So it went, one of the girls would start peeing on the floor and we would rush her to the potty to try and get at least a few drops in the bowl before she was done. This happened successfully only once.

But they wanted to practice for themselves. They were very excited with the whole idea of potty training so they would say that they had to go potty and then sit on the bowl for a few minutes looking genuinely happy but with no results. We would thank them for their efforts, flush and wash our hands.

Then It Happened

We didn't see it coming; we didn't even know it could from the eBook we had been reading. One of our girls literally didn't know what to do with herself. She started crying, wouldn't allow us to take her out of the bathroom and was going between the potty and the sink crying her eyes out.

At first we tried to help her out, telling her how good she was to go and wash her hands or sit on the potty, but things just got worse. She would be in front of the potty ready to get on and all of a sudden yell "No! No! No!" and walk back to the sink where she yelled "No! No! No!" again. We managed to remove her from the bathroom a couple of times to try and calm her down, but this went on for more or less 2 hours.

I didn't want her to hate potty training so we aborted. We got the diapers back out of the bag the girls dumped them in earlier. Trying to put the diapers back on the girls was also a challenge, but the tears subsided eventually. Our confused twin didn't leave our arms for most of the day that day.

What We learned

Firstly I learned that my gut needs a refresher course when it comes to the definition of "Too good to be true." Secondly I learned that these boot camp style programs, although likely successful for some kids, are not a one-size-fits-all solution (although they are clearly marked as such).

We are taking a slower approach now, less pressure and more pull-ups. A family member who is a pediatrician told me "It works better if going potty is their choice."

Have these programs worked for you or did you have a similar experience to ours? Please Comment!

Book Review: Finding Uri

2011-09-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

Many years ago my wife Jess and I went to a movie that had the potential to be awesome. Great story, cool effects, cliff hanging ending etc… However as we walked out of the theater I felt disappointed. Something was missing, but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what.

Afterward as we sat down for a leisurely at dinner (obviously this was before kids!) she hit the nail on the head. “I just didn’t feel like I cared about any of the characters.” Bingo! That was it. The movie spread the depth of it’s characters way too thin, and by the end I felt like I only knew each one just a little bit about each and every one of them. It was because of this, that I felt little emotion, good or bad, for any of them by the end of the film.

After I put down the first few chapters in the book, Finding Uri: A man’s journey to discover the father her never knew, I couldn’t help but recall that movie experience so long ago. Not because the book was similar to the film, but because it was exactly the opposite.

Sandy Munro, the author, was 3 years old when his father was killed after his plane was shot down in World War II. 65 years later he received a box in the mail containing almost 200 letters that Sandy’s mom (Betsy) and his dad (Uri) wrote back and forth to each other. Touching, intimate, heartwarming, happy, honest letters that expressed the unconditional love that the two had for each other. Through reading these letters, and researching the history of Uri’s Torpedo Squadron 90, Sandy tells a story about a unique man with such depth that I feel as if he is someone I know.

What struck me the most as I read this book, and what makes me passionate about writing this review is how much of an anomaly that Uri seemed to be. As I read the letters that he wrote to his wife I was amazed at how gentle this man was. We talk about past generations of males who were the macho-Marlboro men. Men who didn’t talk about their feelings, not because they didn’t have them necessarily (although it seems some believed that to be true) but rather, they simply didn’t know how.

Uri Munro was different. Take this passage from a letter in which he is telling his wife not only how much he misses her, but his son Sandy as well … “I’ve also been thinking about Sandy, and how hard I am going to try to be a good Daddy for him, and make him my friend and companion, as well as my son, and try to help and understand him…” Honestly even writing that down brings tears to my eyes. And again, this is coming from a man from a generation that supposedly didn’t know what the word “tears” meant. Oh, and did I mention that this letter was on page 13? This book is filled with letters that will touch you heart just like that.

This is book about many things. Connection, war, loss, patriotism, grief, love…but at the end of the day, at least for me, this book is about a wonderful, authentic, brave, proud, sensitive, man, husband and father. Although Uri is no longer here, he will be remembered for a very long time. Thank you Sandy for your courage to unearth these letters and share with the rest of us the amazing man that you call Dad.

For more information about Finding Uri please visit: FindingUri.com

The Epic Sleepover: Then And Now

2011-08-08T16:32:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

We had a momentous occasion in the Beckman household a little while back as we hosted my 4 year old daughter’s first ever…sleep over.

As a kid I remember these nights being epic. These were where best friends were made.

Staying up late, playing countless hours of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, Double Dragon, Contra with the amazing 8-bit graphics that only my old school (then new school) Nintendo could provide. Keeping each other awake for no reason other then you didn’t want to be the first one to go to sleep. Sneaking up to the fridge like church mice to grab one last round of snacks, only to be sold down the river by my the squeaks that rang out like gunshots with every step we took on the hardwood floors. Trying to stifle the laughter of our jokes because if my dad were to wake up he would walk down in his whitey-tighties and tell us that if we didn’t go to bed that he would “drive my buddy home right this minute!” (he never knew my friends names…they were always “buddy”).

I wanted this monumental occasion to be perfect. If this went well it could set the tone for all other sleepovers to come. This one night could change her life and set her on a course of social success for the rest of her life. I dropped the rules, the routines, and the regiments. It was awesome!

The girls played, ate ice cream, swam, ate some more ice cream, watched a movie, and ate some more (this time popcorn). Finally when it was time to go to sleep I acted as if I seriously wanted them to “get to bed right now!” Every time they tried, they burst into laughter, and every time I came in acting as if I was a little ticked off, they would laugh even harder.

Finally they exhausted themselves to sleep, and when they did, I couldn’t help but smile when I walked into the room and took a picture of the two of them snuggling next to each other. So innocent…so beautiful.

I know that her life will get so much more complicated from here. Along the way she will encounter a countless number of social aggravations. The Sleep Over should be void of these aggravations however, and I hope I can do my best to help foster that in the years to come.

(have an awesome sleepover memory? Share it!)

Restaurant Owner Discriminates Against Kids

2011-07-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

McDain's Restaurant and Golf Center in Monroeville PA is telling parents that as of Saturday children under age 6 will be banned.

The owner argues that as a Restaurant and Golf Center the business mainly caters to adults. He added that bringing children under 6 to a restaurant is "the height of being impolite and selfish."

My problem with that ban (and others like it) is this: Adults can be (and often are) just as loud, obnoxious and rude as the worst 3 year olds. Especially if those adults are over 21 and legally allowed to drink.

This is discrimination against kids. Sadly, many people are jumping to this owner's defense. If the owner had banned Senior Citizens with hearing problems for being too loud the outrage would be enormous. He would also be sued because seniors and minorities are protected under the law. Kids have no such legal protection.

More to the point of course is the reality that not all kids are loud and obnoxious in restaurants. Yet they are held to a higher standard because some adults just don't like kids. Maybe it's time for parents to seek out these establishments and sit their well-behaved children down at the proverbial lunch counter to demand rights for their children.

Let's ban obnoxious people, not kids.

The Best Thing About Being A Dad

2011-07-01T14:28:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Lome A. Aseron

No, it’s not the lack of sleep. It’s not the sometimes-fatal strain on the relationship with your partner. It’s not the visits to the emergency room with a wheezing toddler or the constant re-shuffling of the family budget that was working so well a few months ago. It’s not even the chance to become more intimately familiar with the bodily fluids of another person than you ever imagined.

The best thing about being a dad is that it makes you a better person.

A couple of months in to being a father, I asked my friend, a veteran dad with an 8 year-old son, what he found most gratifying about fatherhood. “You get to burn off all of your bad habits,” he quipped.

I immediately associated his response with a trial by fire, a comparison that resonated with me at the time. Becoming a dad felt like being accused of wasting my life up to that point on meaningless pursuits. All those hours I spent mastering Gran Turismo 3 seemed well-spent, but they didn’t help me the slightest bit with trying to get a 3-month old to stay asleep for longer than an hour and a half.

The pressure of parenting had actually started before my son was even born. When I saw his initial sonogram, the first thought that came to my mind was, How am I going to pay for this kid’s education? Even though he was less than two centimeters long, his amoebic presence sparked a deep-seated fear about my ability to be a successful father. A mere two days into fatherhood, I confessed to my wife, “It’s amazing how something so small can make me feel so inadequate.”

I realized early on that if I wanted to do the fatherhood thing right, I was going to have to change. And so I went about the business of letting go of anything that was getting in my way of being a fulfilled, happy human being. I forgave my father for his parenting decisions. I examined my beliefs around money and success. I tried to minimize my critical, judgmental ways of thinking. I allowed myself to experience a love that, as all parents know, is beyond description.

Thinking about it now, trial by fire wasn’t the right association for my friend’s comment about fatherhood burning off all of your bad habits. Being a dad is more like walking on fire. When you’re in front of the flames, you really have no idea what it’s going to be like, but you know you’ve got to do it. By the time you realize what you’re doing, turning back isn’t really an option, because it’s just as risky as going forward and a lot less gratifying. When you’re done, somehow you’re not the same person you were just a few seconds ago.

It’s only then that you realize that none of it would have occurred if you had walked over cool, smooth stones. Like being a dad, it was the anxiety and the challenge that caused the inner transformation.

Lome A. Aseron is a father of two amazing sons and husband to a magnificent wife. He blogs at NewDadforLife.com and writes for LIFEclectic Magazine. You can follow him on Twitter at @lomeaseron.

The Greatest Father's Day Gift Ever

2011-06-19T01:31:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

Last week my wife had her annual post-cancer visit with her OB. This is always an occasion to be nervous considering her medical history. The last few years have been uneventful, but this time was different...

It was 3 centimeters in diameter and looked like a cyst, but we didn't know what it's deal was yet. Was it going to be nothing or would it send our lives into another downward spiral? We would have to wait 2 days to find out.

For the first time in a long time I could feel the earth spinning so fast beneath my feet that I was afraid I might fall over. The last time I felt this dizzy was when one of my newborn twins was in the NICU with a broken arm and respiratory distress. You could say that I'm the rock in the family in the sense that when there's bad news I fall over and lie on the ground motionless.

An Embarrassment of Riches

With Father's Day coming up I once again find myself intently focused on what it means to be a husband and a father. I am acutely aware that being both endows me with so much love in my life that I frequently suffer from an embarrassment of riches.

I don't really want to answer when people ask me how I am. How could I possibly explain the lightness I feel in my chest every time one of my 2 year old's says "I love you, Daddy"? How can I describe how good it feels when my wife embraces me after either of us comes home from work? The language hasn't been invented that can describe such things. And yet...

It's odd to think how something only 3 centimeters big could impact my life. 3 centimeters could cause untold physical and emotional pain. 3 centimeters could change the way my children smile when I mention "Mama".

Finally, The Results Are In

My wife has 3 centimeters of boring, run of the mill cyst. It does cause her some discomfort, but it's nothing some ibuprofen can't fix.

And so it is that this Father's Day I remain obscenely rich in my family life. My wife and kids are healthy and happy... and that is what I really wanted for Father's Day.

Bad Parenting In Public: Should You Say Something?

2011-06-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

Most of us would agree that examples of bad parenting are prevalent in our society. But when is enough, enough? When do you actually say something, or speak your mind when you witness it happening right in front of you? Here’s my story about just that…

A while back I was at the airport with a co-worker. As we were going through security, there was a mother and in her two small children (ages around 7 and 10) in front of us. Mom was in a heated discussion with the TSA agent about the shampoo and conditioner bottles she had packed. The bottles were WAY over what is allowed; yet the lady couldn’t believe that she was being asked to throw them out.

I watched as the TSA employee calmly gave her different options on what to do. None of them satisfied the lady and with each sarcastic retort, it was clear that she was only going to be mollified if the TSA agent broke the rules and allowed her to bring them on board.

The arguing/protesting/snide remarks did not stop, and it was turning from rude to down right inappropriate. At one point she even turned to me as she was talking...hoping to recruit me to her side. I stared blankly at her holding in everything that I really wanted to say.

You see when I was a child my mom would pull the same shit when we were out in public. If she didn’t get what she wanted the way she wanted it she would cause a stink, and many times it was right in front of us kids. I was humiliated, but never did I have the guts to confront her (what god-fearing 10 year old Catholic boy would?). Like wise no adult ever stepped up either.

As she kept going, I looked at her kids’ faces, and I could see the same sort of confused embarrassment that I felt many years ago, and finally I couldn’t take it anymore…

“Lady stop it,” I said calmly but directly.
“What?” she replied incredulously?
“Please knock it off,” I said a bit more sternly.
“Oh mind your own business!”
“You know what, you’re making it my business and everyone else’s who has to hear you right now.”
“I don’t care!”
“You’re embarrassing your kids, and you’re embarrassing yourself.”
“Oh shut up! You don’t my kids!” she yelled and quickly took her luggage and her kids to the gate she was going to.

Afterward my co-worker looked at me and said “dude, that took some balls. I don’t think it was your business to say anything, but you said what everyone else was thinking.”

I thought about that statement…”I don’t think it was your business to say anything…” Was it? Should I have just stayed quiet and let her continue on? Some people (including my wife) believe like my co-worker did, and think that I overstepped my bounds.

Yes, maybe I did make more of a scene, and in turn maybe embarrassed the kids more then they would have been if I had shut my mouth.

On the other hand, if I don’t say anything aren’t I just enabling her to continue pull stunts like this in front of her kids in the future? Kids who are probably too young to understand why their mother was in the wrong, or what to say even if they did know…kids who were not strong enough yet to stand up for themselves. Not to mention the fact that the lesson she is subconsciously teaching them is “the rules don’t apply to us, and when people try to enforce them, just cause a scene and most times you’ll get what you want.” What kind of parenting is that?

I don’t know, maybe I’m way off here, but I can’t help feel justified in saying what I said. What are your thoughts on this? Justified, or not?

Making Your Kids Safe With Home Security

2011-06-14T08:19:00.000-07:00

Post brought to you by Security Choice

One of the most important aspects of running a family and maintaining a household is making sure that that household is as safe as it can possibly be for you and your loved ones. A lot of this is common sense that we teach our children from the time they are very young; lock doors at night, don’t answer the door for strangers, never leave a stove or microwave running unattended, know how to use a fire extinguisher, etc. This is the advice we’ve all received regarding home safety. However, many people don’t consider the actual, physical security of their homes when it comes to the possibility of household accidents or criminal invaders. Looking into upgrading the security of your home can be as simple as looking up related companies in your area. For example, simply search for security systems San Angelo tx, or whatever town you may live in or near, and helpful information should be just a few clicks away.

Imagine that you and your spouse decide to go out late one night and leave your kids with a babysitter. He or she may be adequately experienced and well-qualified, and overall perfectly capable; but anyone can doze off and fall asleep, and if this were to happen just before a fire or a carbon monoxide leak, there could be dire consequences. Or imagine you leave your children home alone, even if only for an hour or two, and somebody watching the house decides to take advantage of your absence and break in to steal something, posing an immediate threat to your kids. These situations are obviously quite rare, and sound a bit dramatic, but they can happen, and it’s your responsibility as a parent to make sure that they are avoided.

Advanced home security systems can help to eliminate many of the risks that lead to horrible situations like the ones described above. Many systems equip your house with all sorts of alarms, not just for the doors and windows, but for detecting dangerous carbon monoxide leaks or fires. Additionally, they often include motion sensors, video cameras, and even small signs in your yard that indicate that you are protected, and thus dissuade potential intruders from trying anything whether the parents are home or not. Even more appealing to parents however is the ability of modern home security systems to contact homeowners over their cellular networks. This means that if any alarms or alerts go off while you are away from home, you will be automatically notified (as will the closest appropriate authorities) and can immediately go about protecting your home and ensuring the safety of your loved ones. These are invaluable benefits that any responsible parent ought to look into when it comes to keeping the home safe.

Please see our disclosure policy regarding Sponsored Posts. Contact us if you have any questions or comments about the use of Sponsored Posts on GladDads.com.

8 Screen-Free Summer Activities For Families

2011-06-08T07:16:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

It's summer time and the heat, humidity and thousands of gangs of school kids on summer vacation sure make the prospect of sitting in your air conditioned home watching TV seem very appealing.

Well I'm here to tell you to GET OFF YOUR ASS!

Summer is the traditional season for spending time with your family. In fact, it is your job as a parent to spend so much quality time with your kids that they will be thrilled to go back to school just to get away from you. I'm sorry, but watching television doesn't count as quality family time, especially not during Summer. You must go outside.

Don't worry, I don't expect you to think of things to do all on your own. You can steal any of the ideas below and take complete credit for them. We won't tell.

1. Reading

Just because your kids are home doesn't mean they should spend their time just playing video games and watching cartoons.

You can find summer reading lists for all ages on the Internet, in libraries, or even in your kid's backpack. I'm sure they just "forgot" to show you the summer reading list from school. Don't be too hard on them.

If your kids aren't keen on this idea, a little bribery never hurt. How much is it worth to you to have your children quietly expanding their minds in their rooms? My guess is a bodily appendage from the non-dominant side of your body would be a good trade off... but ask your kids if they'll take money instead.

2. National Parks

This country is home to some of the most beautiful landscape on the planet. National Parks are a very popular summer destination, but if you do choose to go, do your homework first.

Call the park and ask about must-see places within the park and when the best (least crowded) times to visit these places is. When it comes to travel of any kind there is no such thing as "inside information." All the good info is freely available as long as you call in advance.

Try to find some good local parks as well for some daily fun in the sun.

3. Family Gardening

Not everyone has a backyard, but a balcony, open window or even a terrarium (for the windowless apartment dwellers) can help to create the illusion of nature in your life.

If you are lucky enough to have some outdoor space to put at least a planter box, a quick call to your local nursery will give you a short list of relatively easy plants you can grow in your area/climate. Offer this menu to your kids and let them help decide what makes it into the dirt.

On top of getting some yummy veggies fresh from the garden, your children will learn how to care for plants and about your backyard ecosystem (or how your plants will be eaten by bugs).

4. Swimming

If the idea of going to the local swimming pool doesn't appeal to you, try and find a local lake with a swimming area. If your child does not yet know how to swim, summer time is a great time to start. Most local pools will have year-round swimming classes available for kids.

5. Crafts

It's summer time. That means that even the messiest of crafts are possible... outside. Think of the satisfaction of cleaning up a mess with a garden hose instead of a broom and mop. This site isn't a good place for craft ideas, but Chasing Cheerios is (a seriously awesome blog... go check it out).

6. Charitable Giving

Give your kids an inspiring speech about helping their fellow human beings. Fresh off the speech, when they are still motivated, take them through every room of the house and ask them to help you find items to donate.

If done correctly you should be able to declutter/clean your home and fill a good portion of a donation truck in a weekend.

7. Volunteering

There are many ways to volunteer. From collecting old sneakers from family members and sending them to Africa to participating in a park cleanup. You will likely be able to find many local non-profits and volunteer organizations that would be more than happy to make use of your and your offspring.

8. Photo Safari

If you're anything like my family you'll have a couple of old cameras lying around the house. If your kids are old enough to handle a camera responsibly you can have a great time going on a photo safari to a local park or attraction.

To make it more fun, make a shot list for your kids. For instance, you can create a shot list with a range of colors for your kids to find. Just make sure that your kids are courteous when taking photos of other people.

Do you have an idea on how to keep a family busy during the summer? Please share it in the comments!

The Genderless Baby: In Defense Of Storm's Revolutionary Parents

2011-05-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

In the last week or so there has been a Gender discussion raging which we can blame in large part to a rather adorable 4-month old named Storm. The parents, Kathy Witterick and David Stocker, have made a point out of not telling anyone Storm's sex. This is generating much controversy and some unintended headaches for Storm's parents.

Of course it isn't anyone's business what the sex of the child is. Everyone more or less agrees on that. What is being discussed is the "idea" of not telling anyone else the sex of a child.

How Will The World Know How To Treat The Child?

That's one of the more common questions in the comments of articles regarding Storm. The question people should be asking is "How would I treat the child differently if I knew whether or not it was a girl or boy?"

Gender bias is something that happens so automatically for most people that the absence of that one basic input when talking to another person is enough to make people feel like they're speaking to an alien.

The reason for this is because interaction with other individuals is so much easier if we can make certain assumptions about them. In a rather brilliant way, Storm's parents have given Storm a shield from these assumptions.

What Are People REALLY Afraid Of?

What strikes me is that the same groups that are usually at each other's throats when it comes to sexual orientation are at each other's throats again in this instance.

Sexual orientation is not driven by whether or not your parents choose to tell other people a child's sex. Just like painting a boy's toenails doesn't teleport him to the nearest pride parade.

This part of the outrage is funny and depressing at the same time. Funny in the sense that you should always laugh at willfully ignorant people and sad in the fact that invalidating the outrage doesn't change minds.

Rest assured that Storm's parents will impart the knowledge necessary to (1) take care of the parts between Storm's legs properly and (2) what sex Storm is. The things that they will try to not impart are things like dressing the part of a boy or a girl, or how to determine what toys are appropriate for girls or boys. This will empower Storm to make more complete decisions about how to play and interact with others.

Revolutionary Parenting

Storm's parents want to raise a well-adjusted child with a world view that is more nuanced and larger than the average person's. I say congratulations on taking such a bold step and telling people who disagree with you to buzz off.

These parents aren't under the microscope because they are abusing their children; they are under the microscope because they are parenting differently than most. For a while at least, Storm will have to learn to make decisions about how to dress and act and play without other people's assumptions as a guide.

As Storm learns these things, let's all learn a little about what assumptions we make about boys and girls. Let's all listen a little closer to what we encourage and discourage based on Gender bias in our own children's lives. None of us are immune from things like Gender bias. But if more parents can show the courage to tackle big problems in bold ways such as Storm's parents have, and if the rest of us can learn something about ourselves from their example, then maybe the world will become just a little better one Storm at a time.

You can read Kathy Witterick's response to the Media here: http://www.thestar.com/news/article/998960--genderless-baby-s-mother-responds-to-media-frenzy

Family Fun Centers: Not Fun For Families

2011-05-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

There are some things in life that you do not expect to be true, but invariably are.

One situation that proves this point for me occurred a few months before the twins were born. I was having a conversation about diaper and poop habits of newborns and the person I was talking to used the word "blowout". I had never heard that word before, but immediately knew what it meant. I also didn't believe such a horrifying thing could happen, but it does... often.

Another thing I didn't expect to be true is that Family Fun Centers aren't "Fun".

The Myth Of The Family Fun Center

For those who aren't familiar with the concept of a Family Fun Center, these are places where you can play miniature golf, video games, and let your kids play in the bouncy castle all under one roof. Surely such a facility would provide tons of entertainment for the entire family.

I have fond memories of one when I was a teenager, but I haven't been to one since.

We had never taken our kids to a Family Fun Center before, but my wife and I were optimistic that it would be a positive experience. What happened instead defied all logic.

Meltdown Factor #1: Too Much Sugar

Although we control the sugar intake of our kids (i.e. no Soda and very rarely sugary candy), no other parents in this establishment seemed to follow this philosophy. Their kids were literally bouncing off of each other. I saw head butts no less than five times.

This stressed our children out. They were scared of all of these kids screaming and knocking everyone in their path over between gulps of soda from their supersized cups. They literally didn't know how to handle a sugar high and their parents didn't look interested in showing them.

Meltdown Factor #2: Lack Of Supervision

We stayed close to our kids, but many parents were notably absent. This was made obvious by the fact that every 15 minutes or so we would see a staff member leading a 3 or 4 year old around looking for their parents.

How did these parents lose their kids? Many theories were bounced around, but from watching the other parents I finally settled on (based on smell and behavior) that they were getting high in the parking lot. Apparently they would drop their kids in the Fun Center, buy them a soda, and leave in the hope that the staff there would babysit their offspring for an hour.

The Truth About Family Fun Centers

Of course I can't speak for every one of these establishments in every city, but be wary parents! These places have the potential to deliver the opposite of their promise. The 2 hour trip to this place effectively ruined our day.

By the time we left our twins were in knock-down, fist-pumping fits. We dragged them back to the car, being head-butted and kicked the entire way. They were tired and angry. They have never reacted this badly to anything and in my wildest dreams I didn't think this could happen at the Family Fun Center.

We have learned our lesson and will see you at the Park.

Onesie Giveaway: Things To Love About A Newborn

2011-05-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

As many of you know from previous posts, on April 25th, my wife and I celebrated the birth of our newest child Finn Joseph on April 25th.

When my first child was born, my life was so turned around that all I could see was the difficulties, the challenges, the long nights, lack of sex, detachment from my buddies, etc…

However, this time I want to document something different.

Below are just a few examples of the joys, success, and victories that young Finn has brought to our lives.

~ The pursing and puckering of his lips when he is hungry.
~ How light he is when I pick him up
~ His lamby cry when he is cold
~ The fact that he looks like an old man when his eyes are open
~ How he instantly reacts to his papa’s voice
~ The fact that is so small that his first bath took place in a roaster pan
~ How determined he is as getting has arms out of the bundled blanket
~ How he looks like a Chipotle burrito when he is swaddled
~ Experiencing the generosity of neighbors who have cooked us meals, or have spoiled us with gifts
~ The feeling of victory when he finally gets out that solid burp
~ 3 hours of solid sleep
~ How excited you are to see poop after 3 days without
~ How I drive better when he’s in the car
~ The wonder and awe of it all… (I mean less then 3 weeks ago he was inside my wife!!!!)

The Giveaway

Add something you love about newborns in the comments. It can be sincere, funny, tired (we speak tired), or imaginary. One lucky commenter will win a prize. A hilarious newborn onesie created by and sold exclusively at the Glad Dads Pro Shop. Alas, giveaways cannot last forever, so get your response in by midnight PST on Fathers Day!

As long as you promise not to duplicate prior entries, you can comment as much as you want. Have fun!

Optimizing Your Daycare Experience

2011-05-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

It is stressful to leave your child in the hands of a stranger for the first time. I know it was for us. You feel dirty when you leave while your child is being held back by they daycare teacher or distracted by a toy. You tell yourself that putting food on the table is more important and so off to work you go, feeling like crap.

You hope that the people you've entrusted your child to will care for your child the way you would, but you wonder whether all the other children in the room will make that possible at all.

When you're at work that first day you KNOW that your child is asking for you and crying their eyes out before going to sleep. You KNOW that when you pick them up that evening they will love you less. The stressed parent's brain can conjure scary scenarios like no other brain can.

Alas you return to the daycare in the evening and your child meets you with a full embrace and maybe a few tears. The teacher shows you the crayon drawing your child made during art time and tells you how much fun they had with the other kids and suddenly you feel better. You think to yourself "Maybe I'm not the worst parent in the world."

Daycare can be stressful, but there are things you can do to make the most of the situation.

Get To Know The Staff

If you've ever had a job you know that you will always have good days and bad days. Daycare staff are no exception to this rule. In Washington State the maximum allowable child to staff ratio for toddlers is 7:1. Staff that are subject to those kinds of numbers will have challenging days. While you're getting your kids settled into the room or preparing to leave, spend a little time to get to know the teachers in the room. On top of being a decent human thing to do you'll likely reap the following benefits:

1. You'll learn things about how your child behaves in daycare. Of course you'll be notified of the milestones and the bad behavior of your child as it happens, but would you find out that your 2 year old hugged another child that was crying earlier in the day? Not necessarily.

2. You'll learn the politics. Spend enough time in any place and you'll overhear conversations about who does what. Eventually you'll learn more than you've ever wanted to know about the other teachers and rooms.

3. You'll make possible baby sitting contacts. Although most daycares would frown upon one of their staff moonlighting as a babysitter, we all know how hard it can be to find someone qualified to watch your kids on short notice. The more qualified people in your rolodex, the better.

Follow The Rules

Every daycare has its own culture. If you don't follow the rules you'll quickly be labeled as ignorant or an asshole. Reputable daycares will have a handbook clearly outlining everything you need to know to be a completely assimilated cog in the daycare machine.

Knowing the rules around when your child gets sick or has discipline issues will likely come in handy at some point.

Challenge Bad Habits

There is give and take in every relationship and the parent/daycare relationship is no exception. If you notice that the kids aren't getting their hands washed before eating then it is your duty as a parent to challenge that habit.

You wouldn't know it by following the news, but it is possible to communicate criticism in such a way so as to not make any enemies. But if the issue is important enough, don't be afraid to go straight to the director and make your concerns known. Like when you see a teacher yank your child hard by the arm.

Switch Teams

The relationship between parent and daycare is also a trust relationship. You trust them with your child and they trust you to have the best interest of the other children at heart when your child has a temperature or a stomach bug.

As it is with all trust relationships, trust is easier taken than given. If you start feeling as thought the teachers don't care about the kids or that you aren't being listened to, it can be extremely hard if not impossible to repair the relationship.

Don't feel bad though, it is not uncommon nor is it something to feel guilty about to move your child to another daycare. If you no longer feel comfortable at the daycare you're at then it is in the best interest of your child for you to move. Remember, children are capable of reading you. They will know if you distrust a person or place.

What Else?

What was your daycare experience like? What else can parents do to make daycare a positive experience?

A New Addition To Our Family! Welcome Finn!

2011-04-26T20:59:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

Note: Finn Joseph Beckman was born on April 25th, 2011 at 2:55pm and weighed 7lb 1oz. Joe reports everyone is healthy and happy. Below is what he wrote the night before the big event.

Easter Sunday.

Tomorrow my son will be born.

In less then 8 hours I will drive my wife to the hospital and in less then 24 I will be a father. I’ve done this before, but it’s been 4 years. And this time…it’s a boy.

My daughter Sophia is 4, and is nothing short of phenomenal. Seriously the funniest 4 year old I’ve ever met. (not that I meet a bunch of 4 year olds, but in my limited knowledge…pretty damn funny), And of course I would have been delighted if baby 2 was a girl as well…but’s he’s not…and if I can be completely honest, I’m really excited to have a son.

I struggled in ways I couldn’t understand when my daughter was born. Too many times I focused on the negative. The late nights, change in schedule, and just the general “flipping of life up on it’s head” sort of feeling.

With baby 2 I plan to change that. And it’s Glad Dads that is going to keep me accountable. Once a month (or more) I’ll be posting about what’s it’s like for life as a new papa for the second time. Whether it’s sharing the highs or the lows, it will be real and always mostly positive.

Please feel free to share thoughts, advice, personal experiences, jokes, beer (send it to my home address in MN please!) or anything else that strikes your fancy. I feel blessed to have a community of people that I can express my thoughts to. So in advance, thanks for reading. And as always, if you would like to share your experiences on being a dad, feel free to contribute. Glad Dads is about community, and by taking the time to read, contribute, comment, debate, etc… you are adding to that community.

Easter Sunday can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For many it means “new life.” I can’t think of a more appropriate meaning right about now.

Multiples In The Military: IED's, Triplets And Sgt. Baum's Wild Ride

2011-04-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

On June 5th, 2007 Sgt. Simon Baum's platoon was on the road between Forward Operating Bases (FOB), providing security for an engineer company. Halfway to their destination the HUMV's right front tire rolled over a pressure plate IED and blew the vehicle to pieces. Simon suffered the worst injuries with a broken right fibula, broken right forearm, and major damage to his right knee.

Simon's recovery took 2 years and included 15 months in the Warrior Transition Battalion where his mission was to either recover enough to stay in the Army or to transition into civilian life. Simon was determined to stay in and in April 2009 was able to join his current unit.

Then things got challenging.

Stop Counting

In late July of the same year, Simon and his wife Rebecca found out they were pregnant. But the real shock didn't come until late August, just two days before he was scheduled to head back to Afghanistan.

Simon recalls the scene: "We went in for an ultrasound where we would find out how many we were having. The nurse said 'Here's Baby A… Baby B… here's Baby C…' at which point I told her to stop counting. We had a bit of a laugh, but it didn't really sink in at the time. My personal perspective was 'Oh, you're having triplets. That's really weird, but I'm deploying in 2 days, so I don't really have time to think about this or process it.' It really wasn't until late November when I got a hold of my wife and she told me that we were having three girls that it hit me. It seemed more real."

Around Simon's unit there were a lot of jokes. Things along the lines of "Don't mess with Baum, he'll impregnate anything!" Some of course were more appropriate than others. The usual banter between soldiers. "A lot of guys didn't know what to even think" recalls Simon, "Their reaction was 'Is that even possible?!' Some of the married guys said 'That's really cool, congratulations… I'm sorry.' They said that because they were all girls."

10 Days Of Babies

Despite the jabbing, Simon's unit rallied behind him and his chain of command afforded him the opportunity to come home and witness the birth of his daughters, who were born three month's premature.

His first daughter was born on New Year's Day 2010 and weighed 1lb 11oz. The other two were born C-section on the 11th of January and weighed in at 1lb 12oz and 1lb 13oz. Yes, you read that right, his wife was having babies for 10 days!

His emergency leave was extended so he could stay with his wife and family in the hospital. When his leave was up he had to go back, but then was sent home again when all three of his daughters had to have surgery to correct their PDA. In March he came back permanently and was assigned to his Battalion's rear attachment.

A Military Family With Multiples

Day to day life for the Baum's includes Simon going to training early in the morning. When he gets home in the evening he helps out with the girls. He puts it like this: "I go from dealing with soldiers from ages 18 - 25, who are like kids in terms of Military standing and come home to take care of my kids. I like watching my kids more than the guys in my unit."

While Simon is at work, Rebecca stays at home and supervises her own troops. "My wife is very organized. The girls were in the NICU for three months and [Rebecca] learned a lot from the staff there. She has been able to put the girls on a schedule, they take a nap at the same time every day and sleep through the night. They have been on this schedule since they were six months old."

Although this arrangement works most of the time, there are times when two adults in the house really would be better than one. "It is difficult for my wife to put all three babies into the limousine-looking stroller we have and take them to appointments. It's a production wherever we go with the girls. When I can't make an appointment it puts more stress on her so there is this constant balancing of work and family. It makes for a very challenging existence."

For now the Baum's haven't had a lot of problems with Simon switching his schedule. As his unit nears their next deployment and the training intensifies, there will be fewer opportunities to move things around in the middle of the day. "Now there is less leniency because I have to train up my guys physically and as a squad. That's something that my wife and I both understood before we got into this."

A Career Soldier

Although acutely aware of how a Military career challenges family life, Simon loves his career and has higher aspirations for the future. Asked how his career goals have changed since having children, Simon was confident about his commitments:

"Obviously I have to be more careful. I can't just be the crazy soldier that runs out gung-ho to go out in a blaze of glory. I have a family I have to take care of. In terms of my goals I feel that I am more determined to be a better soldier. I am more determined to stay in [the Army]. In October of 2009 I re-enlisted for 6 years and I am working to go to Officer Candidate School to get my commission. I consider myself a lifer. I've been in for five years now and I feel that this is where I need to be. I will do what I need to do to number one, stay here and number two, always come home."

To Circumcise Or Not To Circumcise, That Is The Question

2011-03-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

In 4 weeks or less I will be blessed with a baby boy. I will not deny the fact that when I heard the news this baby was going to have different genitalia then my first…that I would be blessed with a girl AND a boy… my heart danced. A kick ass dance too…like “the sprinkler.”

So for the last 8 months I’ve been dreaming about having a boy and all of the nuances that go along with it…except for one thing…the wiener…or to be more specific, the casing that surrounds it.

About 3 days ago our Montessori teacher handed us some pamphlets on circumcision. The pamphlets were propaganda that backed the idea of keeping the penis intact, or not circumcising. As any propaganda goes, it was very one sided, and extreme in nature. (I’m sorry, but I’m just not going to be convinced that my kid is going to hate me when I’m older because of the fact that I allowed the Dr.’s to snip snip on day 1.)

However, it got me thinking about it. Why would I allow anyone to perform minor surgery on my son’s penis without me even debating the pros and cons? So I did some research.

Here’s what I found:

People circumcise because they think…
~ It’s cleaner
~ Their son will be ridiculed for looking different
~ Dad was snipped, and they want to have a matching set as to not confuse
~ Slightly higher risk of STD’s

People who have chosen to keep the penis intact argue…
~ It’s just as clean (albeit it takes a bit more work)
~ Even if it is a different looking penis then their dad’s, it’s a simple “everyone’s penises look different” conversation.
~ The real risk of STD’s is less about lack of foreskin and more about lack of planning
~ Kids can get this procedure done later in life if they choose.
~ It’s purely cosmetic, and the pain that goes along with it is way too intense to justify it.

I’m not going to lie, I’m a little torn on this right now (horrible word choice). Although I’m certainly leaning strongly in one direction, this is a major decision that requires a lot of thinking.

Dads (and moms)…help me out. What are your thoughts? What did you do? WHY??

The Day I Saw A Teacher Get Rough With My Child

2011-03-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

The girls had recently turned 2 and were in a new room at their daycare. This room was bigger with more kids and more staff. We had not interacted with these teachers before, but we absolutely adored the teachers in the last room once we got to know them. Realizing that this would surely be the case in the new room we decided to relax and see how the girls adjusted to the change. Two days into the transition something happened.

My wife and I were picking the girls up. When we got to the room the kids were having circle time. The girls LOVE circle time. The teacher and the kids sit down on the rug and the teacher reads, the toddlers all get to socialize and sing songs… its just fun. We didn't want to interrupt. One of the twins had her own book, pointing at the pages and talking to herself. She was in her own little world. The other twin was sitting on the rug and listening to the teacher. She was sitting a little too close.

After about a minute we watched our daughter stand up. We saw the teacher's hand (we couldn't see the rest of her because of a bookshelf) reach out and grab our daughter by the arm and sit her back down. It looked rough, but on the edge of reason. I will admit to having sat my children down on occasion when I was trying to get them to focus on a meal; obviously not that hard, but with purpose. Another minute passed and she stood up again. This time she was about half an arms length farther away than the first time. We watched as the teachers arm shot out again, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her closer… REALLY hard. We watched as our child's body seemed to streamline itself in the direction of the pull, her feet leaving the ground and her head snapping to one side. This is how you start a lawnmower, not handle a child!

We stormed into the room and confronted the teacher who was now holding our inconsolable daughter on her lap.

"That was a little rough, don't you think?!"

Looking shocked, the teacher replied with "Oh, she was… um… crying and I pulled her closer."

My wife said "No" and I responded "She was not crying" as I plucked my daughter from the hands of this lying bitch.

Deciding that I had wasted enough time with this person I told my wife to grab the coats… we were going to the office.

After explaining the scene to the director of the daycare center she assured us that she would deal with the situation immediately. When I checked back the next day she confirmed that the teacher was let go - about 5 minutes after the incident. I don't like to see anyone lose their job, but as far as I was concerned that was the only acceptable outcome. This person should not be around children.

Happy Memories

When my daughter gets hurt, she can sometimes have night terrors. We wondered what we could do that would help her refocus and take her mind off of what had happened. There was only one answer: The bookstore.

Both of our twins love books, they love to be read to and they love to flip through books by themselves. When they are in the children's section of our local bookseller they squeal with joy! After half an hour we had bought them Olivia and Olivia Saves The Circus, read them about 10 different books and let them leaf through a few on their own. They both had a great time and the night terrors were averted.

Catching Our Breath

To be frank, my wife and I were pretty disheveled by the whole experience. We had a sleepless night that night and were worried if the daycare had taken the correct action (because we hadn't heard yet). Once we found out we were impressed by how quickly the situation was resolved.

I had to wonder if this was a behavior the teacher practiced regularly. How many other kids had she been rough with? Are there other teachers there with similar tendencies? It never ceases to amaze me what adults will do to children because they are tired, upset, or stressed.

Now that everything has settled down I am acutely aware that my children aren't within sight when I'm at work. They aren't even within half an hour of me. I can't just look to see if they are OK, not even at lunch. The safety of my children is in the hands of other adults at a place where they take care of children for a living. In order for our family to survive, both my wife and I have to work (In this country, that is the norm, not the exception). It is absolutely imperative that I trust the people who take care of my twins.

I choose to believe that the vast majority of child care providers are good people who want to provide a loving environment for kids whose parents have to work. As is the case with anything though, there are always a few bad actors. It is still our job as parents to know who is taking care of our children and it is up to everyone to make sure that our children remain safe.

Being there when the incident happened was good. Not knowing how many other incidents occurred before that is gut-wrenching. Being OK with going to work after something like this is something we're still working on.

I will not disclose the name or location of the daycare center or the identity of the teacher, so don't ask.

Tattoos For Children And Peace Of Mind For Adults

2011-03-08T10:52:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

It was the summer of 1987 when my parents told me the good news. We were taking family trip to Valleyfair; the single greatest entertainment park (next to Wally World of course) that I had ever witnessed. We loaded up the station wagon and my older brother Matt and I screamed in mischievous delight when my eldest sister chose not to join us in the way back of the vehicle (the third row seat that faced the back windshield) where we played a combination of G.I. Joe and “who can make the car following us laugh the fastest with our inappropriate actions.”

When we arrived, the plan was that we would stick together as a family and all of us would get a say in what rides we went on. The day was going swimmingly. No fighting, no whining, no hitting, no arguing, no mom getting so angry that she stopped the whole experience for a cigarette.

Then we passed under the Corkscrew.

A massive blue roller coaster that not only brought anxious park attendees up and subsequently down a steep hill but also looped them around upside down 3 separate times. I looked up as my family and I walked directly underneath the second of these loops. I was mesmerized. My eyes followed the screams of the scared teenagers, and I kept walking, keeping my eyes on the coaster as it came to a halt in the station.

“Oh my gosh you guys ARE GOING ON THAT NEXT!” I wailed with enthusiasm. But when I looked up, I realized my family was gone. I looked left…then right. “MOM? DAD?” I sputtered. I realized that the Corkscrew was so visually stimulating that when the coaster did its loop…so did I. Without realizing it, my body turned 180 degrees and I started walking in the exact opposite direction as the rest of my family. Eventually I got the guts to talk to a lady at the funnel cake stand, she called security and we ended up walking around the park until we found my family. It was close to an hour.

Now this is before cell phones, pagers, GPS devices and I think we can all agree that now a days it would take far less time for a 3rd grader to find his/her parents in a situation like that.

However, what happens if you are missing a toddler?

We all know how damn quick these little people can be, and most of us have experienced the overwhelming panic that takes over when after what seems like a split second you look up and realize you don’t know where your kid went. What if you were at a mall, or a park, or Disney World, or countless other places and this happened?

Enter TattooID.

I just came across this website, and I was floored at how awesome (and no-brainer) this product was. It’s a temporary tattoo with a border of your choosing (trucks, fish, pirates, princesses etc…). In the middle is the initials of your kid, and a “if lost please call….” And then your phone number.

Seriously brilliant. And even more brilliant is that it was conceived by the mind of a teenager. We sometimes think that those without kids of their own just don’t really get it, but Steven Gordon SO GETS IT!

As a dad this is that tangible product that we can really sink our teeth into. I can think of several places that I will slap this on my 4 year old (and I can hear her screaming in delight as I put it on). I might buy several orders for my cousin Ken who is a dad of twins, and another set for my friend Bo who has three kids under the age of 5. The possibilities are endless!

Thanks again Steven…on behalf of parents everywhere. Peace of mind is a wonderful thing. Who knew it could come from a tattoo?

What do you all think? Is this something you would use? How would make it even better then it already is…I have a few ideas, but I want to know what you all are thinking.

Book Review & Giveaway: Fatherhood - Philosophy For Everyone

2011-02-28T20:31:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Danny Grubb

Making sense of fatherhood is tough. Take it from a guy who is still trying to understand all of the meaning surrounding that word. What does it mean for me to be a father to my children and what does it mean for my children to have me for a father? Very few books try to get at the heart of the subject, leaving the search for an answer a very personal journey.

Since before my children were born I was looking for a book that would shed some light on the situation I was going to be in. This effort only resulted in me being surrounded in "how to" books... until now.

Fatherhood: Philosophy For Everyone is a spectacular book. Dense with essays written on everything from "Fatherhood and the meaning of life" by Michael Barnwell to "Real Fathers Bake Cookies" by Dan Collins-Cavanaugh, you will find meaning in these pages beyond the common daddy stereotypes.

Fatherhood is much more than being a protector, role model and disciplinarian. Every day that we are part of our children's lives is a miracle and every day we are challenged to figure out how best to honor that miracle. Reading this book will help you make sense of the gravity of fatherhood. What you make of the rest of the journey is up to you.

The publisher has kindly put up a copy of this book for one lucky Glad Dads reader. To enter you must comment below and tell us what being a dad means to you. Be as concise or verbose as you like, just be honest. You must comment by midnight PST on 3/8/2011. Good Luck!

Taking Montessori To Madison

2011-02-21T16:36:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

About a year ago, my wife and I decided to send our daughter, Sophia, to a traditional Montessori school near our house. Before my daughter was born I knew nothing of the Montessori methods, and now I find myself talking to everyone I can about how I only wish I experienced this when I was growing up.

Maria Montessori’s learning philosophies are rooted in concepts such as justice, civility, empathy, fairness, dialogue, innovation, creativity, teamwork, and most importantly, community. Students understand that their actions directly impact others and the community around them. Conflicts, even the most heated, are dealt with respect. And although each student knows they will always be listened to, it does not mean that they get what they want. No matter how loud they yell.

It’s an environment that requires self-discipline, patience, listening, and compromise. Considering everything going down in Wisconsin right now, I can’t help but wonder how some of these Montessori philosophies could benefit both the politicians and the people.

In case you’re unfamiliar, state workers from across the country are focusing on Madison, WI where newly elected Gov. Scott Walker is looking to implement a bill that would force most state workers to pay higher health care costs, contribute more to their pensions, and to eliminate their ability to collectively bargain.

To say it’s a heated issue would be an understatement. People feel strongly on both sides of the aisle, and over 70,000 people came to the capitol of Wisconsin to make their opinions known.

Unfortunately I hear a lot of yelling, but very little listening. I hear a lot of complaining, but no problem solving. I hear a lot of mandating, but no compromising. Is this really the best way to lead? Is this the example that we are setting for our youth, the future leaders of our society?

I mean we teach are kids not only the importance of having an opinion, but also to take the opinions of others into account as well. We teach are kids to work out their problems civilly, instead of screaming and yelling (or running and hiding). And we teach are kids that they’re not always going to get what they want, to be accountable when they are wrong, and to work together to find solutions to problems. Why can we not practice what we preach?

If Maria Montessori was still alive, she would still be able to do amazing things with our kids…unfortunately it’s the adults that could really use the message.

For a real, digestible, and down to earth argument in favor of Montessori schools read Montessori Madness by Trevor Eissler.

Waking Early to Make Breakfast

2011-02-09T14:57:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Neal Learner, Alexandria, VA - NealLearner.com

One of the signs of getting old, they say, is the need for less sleep. If true, I reached old-cootdom in my mid-40s. It seems no matter how late I go to bed I’m wide awake at 5:45 a.m. I’ve come to view sleep as a simple biological necessity, not a pleasure to indulge in. For me, six-and-a-half hours generally gets the job done.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, I’ve discovered, as it gives me the chance to earn bonus points with my family. How? I use the extra time in the morning to make my wife and kids a hearty breakfast and well-thought-out lunch. I even win extra credit tokens for bringing my wife coffee in bed.

I’m not a butler, a Mr. Mom or prone to doing things I really don’t feel like doing. What I am is a practical man. So instead of lying in bed looking at the ceiling, I figure why not make use of this time to benefit my 9- and 11-year-old daughters, who need all the rest they can get, and my wife, who loves her sleep more than just about anything else in the world.

So before my digital clock turns over to 6:00 a.m., I slip out of the covers, trod lightly downstairs and start making hot water for coffee. Then I look in the refrigerator to consider the options.

On Mondays, I generally like to keep lunch simple. I may pull out a bag of frozen Swedish meatballs, spread them on a pan and pop them in the oven. Then I’ll start a pot of water boiling for rotini pasta.

While these are cooking, I consider the day’s side dishes. One of them will always be fresh fruit. For some reason, my daughters are loving plums and nectarines these days. Before, it was fresh strawberries or grapes. On occasion, I’ll slice up a kiwi, pear or mango, just for variety. Unpealed bananas, oranges and tangerines also work well, but the school’s short lunch period generally means the no-pealing-required option wins out.

Next comes the salty option. My daughters are big fans of cheese, so I frequently include a slice of Spanish Mancho (my wife, who is from Barcelona, introduced us to this wonderfully dry white cheese). Other favorites include a zipper-bag full of raw nuts or vegetable chips. From time to time, I’ll also toss in some veggies, such as carrot sticks, sliced bell peppers and grape tomatoes, which I realize are not technically vegetables, but they are tangy versus sweet.

Last, I consider the sweet, which these days usually consists of a Ferrero Rocher hazelnut chocolate bonbon. Alternatively, I may drop in a chocolaty Pepperidge Farm cookie or other baked good, sometimes homemade, usually store-bought. After Halloween, my daughters ate Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers and Milky Way bars for weeks.

To wash this down, I give the girls a box of reduced fat Hershey’s chocolate milk, which doesn’t contain the dreaded corn syrup and provides them with some nutritional value.

Once the sides are in the bag, literally, I turn back to the pasta and meat. I drain the pasta and mix in a healthy dose of olive oil topped by a dash of salt and pepper. The pasta then goes into a small thermos bottle for each girl followed by the sizzling meatballs.

Voila, a tasty, hearty, homemade lunch that keeps your kids happy, makes other kids jealous and impresses the moms.

While the sides stay fairly constant with fruits, salties and sweets, I definitely like to mix up the main dish.

One of my girls’ favorites is a soup and sandwich combination. The soup of choice these days is lentil vegetable made by Amy’s Organic Soups. Heating that up is a no-brainer, but the accompanying sandwich is a bit more involved (P&J on Wonder Bread this is not). I take a French baguette and slice it lengthwise, leaving it slightly attached along one edge. Into the oven it goes for toasting. Once it comes out, I rub raw garlic on the inside of the bread. Next I slice a fresh heirloom tomato in half and scrape and squeeze the juice onto the bread; throwing away the skins afterwards (this is traditional Spanish-style recipe that I also picked up from Barcelona). I cover these with drips of olive oil and top them off with slices of meat. My older daughter prefers prosciutto, ham or turkey, topped with a bit of cheese for good measure. My little one is happy with canned tuna fish mixed up with mayonnaise.

I also make a lot of lunches by raiding leftovers from the evening meal. A reliable hit is stir fry rice, which I make by slicing leftover meats and vegetables into small chunks and mixing them with rice and sauce. I prefer a mildly spicy Thai peanut sauce, but barbecue, soy or others work fine as well. Once a week, I pull out my handy George Foreman electric grill to make quesades from leftover steak and chicken, and shredded cheese. On Fridays, I punt and cook up a frozen pizza, which I wrap up in individual slices.

As the week progresses, it can be tough to come up with menus that maintain a “wow” factor. But I’m pretty sure it’s never boring. My kids report that as they sit down to lunch, they always wonder: “What did he pack us today?”

Breakfast involves another series of options, and I usually start off the week easy. On Mondays, the girls come down to a bowl of cereal (after all, I did grow up in Battle Creek, Michigan, home of Kellogg). There will always be fresh fruit and juice to go along with this. As the week goes on, I add variety. My kids love a good plate of scrambled eggs or an omelet with a side of toast and honey. A bowl of old fashion Quaker Oats also hits the spot on a cold morning. And never count out that chunk of left-over cake.

So that’s the weekday morning routine: Wake early, make coffee, make lunches, make breakfasts, take shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, get out the door, make it to school with seconds to spare, head off to work.

Then the weekend rolls around: I sleep in until 6:30 a.m. and make the girls pancakes and bacon.

Neal Learner is a writer, musician and cook who lives with his wife and two daughters in Alexandria, Va. He recently released his first album of children’s music, “Would You Like to Be a Mermaid?,” and is the 2010-2011 PTA president at his daughter’s elementary school. See his work at NealLearner.com.

Sentry Safe Giveaway: Protect Your Family Jewels

2011-01-28T10:37:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Joe Beckman

Most dads, especially the sports minded ones, are probably cringing at the title of this; maybe even intrigued at what is to come next. Could they possibly be doing a review on “nut cups?” No way. Doing a review on that would require a type of experimentation that I would not look forward to. The family jewels were talking about protecting here are literally (in some cases) the jewels in your family.

When I think about a safe my first instinct is to picture a giant bank vault or something that rich people have in their wall only to be hidden by a tacky piece of art, but as Bob Dylan says…”the times, they are a changing” and safes are no longer just for the high and mighty serving to protect top secret information or compromising pictures of ranking politicians and CEO’s. Safes can help us peasants as well.

Upon arrival, I noticed instantly the weight of the Sentry Safe 1170B. It was well built, thick around the edges, and borderline heavy. “Holy crap there not messing around,” my wife said when she tried to pick it up. Instantly I felt like my prize possessions would be safe in this beast.

It came with a set of two keys to that opens and locks the safe. First inspection of this made me question how challenging it would be for someone with lock-picking experience to break into this. I don’t have knowledge in this area, but I have watched a lot of MacGyver in my life, and at first glance he may only need a dental floss, a marshmallow, and Chap Stick to bust it open. Par for the course for that modern day hero, but I think a thief worth their salt would be able to pick this bad boy.

Because of the thickness there is not a lot of room to put things. There are certainly larger options, but as you guess, the larger size equals larger price tag. It would be perfect for smaller prized possessions such as jewelry, documents, CD’s and any smaller item you can think of. Because it’s not a huge safe a thief could hypothetically come into your house and take it, but that might be it’s biggest advantage as well. Finding an amazing hiding spot would be that difficult as it could fit in most nooks and crannies around your home.

One of the best features to this product is its ability to stand up to heat. It would take 30 min of a fire to be directly on this safe in order for you to melt through it. This is a huge advantage over your typical file cabinet, and a key selling point for me if I were deciding to buy.

Bottom line: I really like this product. For me it’s going to work great as every CD full of pictures, DVD’s of my kiddos growing up, and any important paper work (birth certificates, social security cards, marriage certificate etc…) will live here. Can one make the argument that a safe like this is unnecessary? I guess…I mean chances are pretty darn slim that you would ever use it to its fullest capacities, but point is…it could happen. And like security systems, bomb shelters, and life insurance it offers peace of mind. The simple fact that you own one clears away some mental real estate and as all parents know, that is hard to come by.

Tell us what you think. We’re going to give away a Sentry Safe 1100 Fire Chest to the person who can tell us two things in the comments below: #1. What would a full Sentry Safe contain if you could fill it with your top 3 prized possessions. Defend your choices well enough, and you my friend could win yourself a $60 safe.

Note: Danny and Joe like to laugh…please don’t just say, “I would keep my pictures and my computer, and my fish.“ All worthy choices, but a little boring. Get creative and have fun!

Giveaway ends 2/6/2011 at 11:59pm PST.